Bunny Reblogs: In Defense Of Monogamy (As Written By A Man Who Loves To Seduce)

The original post is found here: http://www.yourtango.com/20085954/what-to-expect-when-youre-monogamous . I just decided to have a copy of it here on my blog so that I could read it from time to time. :)
A serial seducer admits that “monogamy is a majesty worth fighting for.”

I’m single, 40, and have dated more than any good man should. Add to that the fact that Ilove women, I love seducing, and my ego is clearly invested in the power it gives me, and something tells me I’m not the man you’d think would advocate devotion and fidelity. But the truth is, I’m a closet monogamist.

It doesn’t come easily (it might not even come naturally), but at the end of the day, I think monogamy is a majesty worth fighting for. Many of the reasons are obvious: the comfort, having a good-guy reputation, the regular and maybe even condom-free sex, but there are some that might surprise you.

One of them is the fight itself. Monogamy is one of those rare things where both the reward and the struggle alone each justify the effort. Striving to be monogamous helps us focus on things that make us better people. Of course socio-biologists want to say that men have “natural” inclinations against monogamy, that when we were still wearing pelts, there were no relationships and the survival of the species depended on our attempts to impregnate as many hominid females as we could.

Could be true, but what of it? In the same way that today I choose to grill my buffalo burger rather than eat it raw — and enjoy it a hell of a lot more that way — cultured man can benefit by not simply giving in to his prehistoric impulses, because now his nature is something different, larger.

We’ve evolved so that sex can (and should!) be a lot more than just the delivery of semen, and monogamy helps set us on that course.

Don’t get me wrong: I’m aware that being monogamous is a lot more challenging than lighting a charcoal grill. I confess to having the stereotypical male skin-level desire: my eyes see, sometimes my insides shudder, and a few times a day some part of me can’t help wonder what it would be like to sleep with this woman or that. We all know that most men are like this, but the civilized among us make themselves as immune as possible.

It’s harder to describe is the psychology and identity behind that desire. It took me a long time to realize how much attention I need as a person and that, despite all the confidence I have and successes I’ve had in various quadrants of my life, a lot of me still just wants to believe that I’m liked. As men we’re taught to be independent and self-sufficient, but few of us are or can or even should be.

We need other people for all kinds of reasons, and part of us needs to know that we can affect them. Seduction does that – for both men and women – giving us the sense that someone wants us, endorses us, will let us influence them. We know that men often try toseduce women like they try to make money, for power and prestige, but when you look deeper you see that it’s more than just belt-notching: sex and seduction help us believe in ourselves and that can be a tough thing to give up. But the last few sentences actually frame the other side of the problem:

As men, we want to form our identity, but we rarely realize how much not other peoplebut a single personcan help do that.

Many, perhaps most, of us dream of spending our lives with a partner, having all the comfort, intimacy, trust and history that one can only gather by getting together with someone and staying together. But what’s not on that list of benefits is “self” — and that’s the key to it all. We think we achieve self by influencing and seducing, doing and building and earning, but a lot of men never experience the deeper, more meaningful self that can be achieved in the sharing and communing, trials and triumphs, with a lifelong partner.

Of course I’m talking about the right partner in the right circumstances but here, too, monogamy can help. If you’re in a relationship and finding yourself really wanting to act on the messages your nether side is sending, it’s time for some heavy-duty examination — of your relationship and of yourself. Self should come first, asking the question of what’s really going on. Is the new woman just attractive and you feel the twitch? If so, remember that your fantasy might well be better than the realization would be.

Or has it been a long time since you’ve been with someone new? Okay, that might be tough but why? Maybe it means the sex in your relationship has gone stagnant (is that your fault? your partner’s? Is it laziness or are there deeper problems? All this should be explored). If that’s the case, perhaps you’re just missing the physical pleasure and you should try to resurrect your lovelife with your current partner first. Men and women certainly stray less if they’re happy with what they have at home.

But maybe your sex life is fine with your partner, but you’re missing the seduction thrill. That means that your sense of self isn’t what it needs to be and here, too, you have to ask if you’re not doing enough or if your partner is not doing what you need — or both. Feeling the need to seduce should be a wake-up call that you’re not getting the ego satisfaction that’s necessary from the other areas of your life. You should probably try to work on those before you go and cheat on the partner you love.

Or perhaps it is the relationship: you’re not having sex because your partner doesn’t want to or you don’t want to and you want to cheat because they’re not making you feel how you need to feel. But, again, it’s worth trying to salvage the relationship before you run out and get with someone else. Infidelity is a symptom, not a solution. Ultimately the impulse to cheat might help you get out of a bad relationship but first you need to see if the relationship is worth trying to hold on to. Striving for monogamy helps you get the most out of a partnership by facing the challenges head-on—the only way that works.

It’s clear that none of these questions is about the supposed object of the cheating desire; they’re about you and your relationship and how those things are doing. (And if you’re asking yourself if the new person would be “better for you” than the person you’re with, remember that you probably barely know them, are thinking wishfully, and that eventually they’ll have their ticks and foibles and annoyances like your current partner, too). That’s why I think monogamy is worth fighting for because ultimately the fight is not to keep yourself from straying, it’s to help yourself become a person that, with the love of the right partner, can get the fulfillment, joy, and self that you need, without having to scratch the libidinal itch for someone else.

Yes, it’s very daunting to think that you might only have sex with one person for the rest of your life, but at the same time, maybe it just requires a rethinking of what sex means.

The key to long-term sexual happiness is to have sex be less about seduction, ego, and the symbolic sense of power and more about pleasure, feeling, and expression of intimacy. With that model, the best sex is sex with someone you know and love and it should get better and better. I understand that there are only so many ways of having sex and you might sometimes feel in a rut, but truthfully that’s just a challenge to expand your habits, leave your comfort zones, and grow as a person with your partner. Every challenge to having a fuller sex life with someone you love makes you a better person – more creative, expressive, and self-aware.

Sex with only one person is the hard way, but it’s the way that makes us grow and develop to be the fullest people we can be. Most impulses toward infidelity are ultimately either passing physical blips or signs that something else is wrong. If you go after the problems themselves, then the band-aid solution of cheating stops being worth it. You’ve addressed the problem at its source and you have the reward of that much richer a relationship, a self, or both.

Bunny Preps: Newbie Guide to Mt. Batulao Camping + Overnight Preparation

Hey, hey, hey! :)

Once again, my friends and I are enticed to seek and explore one of the many mountains in Batangas.

Since we consider ourselves newbie hikers, we decided to hike a mountain that’s around 4/9 in difficulty.

And after much delegation, we decided on — Mt. Batulao!

We know that it’s a newbie and day-hike favorite so we thought it will be a fun and easy weekend climb for our mid-May trip. Sweet!

Well, yes, it’s going to happen mid-May and that’s two weeks from now, but we’d like to think that preparation is better than… well, not being prepared, so, here we go!

FAST FACTS

MT. BATULAO
Nasugbu, Batangas
Jump-off point: Evercrest Golf Course, Nasugbu
LLA: 14.0408 N 120.8011 E 811 MASL
Days required / Hours to summit: 1 day / 2-4 hours
Specs: Minor climb, Difficulty 4/9, Trail class 3 with 60-70 degrees assault
Features: Open trails, rolling slopes, scenic views of Batangas

HOW TO GO THERE

As per usual,  driving and commuting directions shared here will be from Alabang because we live south of Manila. The directions will point you to the jump-off point which is Evercrest Golf Course.

Driving Directions
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CLICK TO ENLARGE
Commuting Directions

I haven’t checked yet if there are direct vans / buses that would pass by Evercrest from Alabang, but here are two (3) routes that you can try:

1. Alabang – Tagaytay – Nasugbu

Take a van in Alabang en route to Tagaytay and then take a bus to Nasugbu. Make sure to ask the driver if they will  be able to drop you off at Evercrest.

2. Alabang – Robinsons Dasma – Nasugbu

Take a van in Alabang en route to Robinsons Dasma then take a van/bus to Nasugbu. Alight at Evercrest.

Based from experience, the drivers in Cavite / Batangas are very gracious in giving proper directions. Don’t be afraid to ask.

3. Alabang – South-West Integrated Provincial Transport Terminal (SWIPTS), Coastal Mall – Nasugbu

There are jeepneys bound for SWIPTS / Coastal Mall from Alabang, however if you can’t get a hold of that, ride a bus en route to EDSA and then take another bus en route to MIA / NAIA – they will take you to SWIPTS / Coastal Mall. Buses to Nasugbu will then be available for you at the terminal in Coastal Mall. Alight at Evercrest.

HOW’S THE WEATHER

Like they always say, “Safety first!”

Don’t be lazy. Check the weather at least 3 days ahead before a trip.

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For a more detailed forecast, click here —> BATULAO WEATHER

WHAT TO EXPECT

  • Loads of Vitamin D – yep, you’ll be getting a LOT of sun exposure
  • Sudden changes in the weather – even if it’s summer and we have a dry spell in the country, expect the unexpected. Be ready for gusty winds and sudden rains.
  • Tests of your physical strength – there will be lots of walking on flat areas, lots of walking on inclined areas, jumping, rappelling – you get the drift.
  • Animal dung – the trail leading to Batulao’s peak have a few residents living with cows, horses, etc.
  • Two trails – Batulao has two trails to choose from. The old trail is more challenging.
  • Throngs of people – Batulao is a day-hike favorite, there will surely be a lot of people hiking there especially during the weekends.
  • Scenic views of Batangas – of course, prepare to get blown away by Mother Nature’s creativity
  • New friends – people who are going through strenuous activities and are sweating their asses off are surely loaded with happy hormones. Prepare to be greeted along the trail and be sure to say something nice to them, too
  • New, random, life lessons – :)

WHAT TO WEAR

Who says you can’t be fashionable while working your ass up a mountain? Check out the photos below to get inspiration about the kinds of things you might need to wear for a hike.

*TIP!* If you only have short-sleeved shirts, buy arm sleeves – it’s cheaper than buying a new piece of clothing. Same thing if you only have shorts – buy leggings or high socks.

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For women
men-wear
For men

If you are wondering where to buy cheap hiking sandals, check out my post here —> PICO DE LORO TIPS

WHAT TO BRING

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You can download the checklist here for free —> HIKING CHECKLIST

BATULAO HIKE + CAMP ITINERARY

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HOW MUCH

Expect to shell out 1,000 php per person for the trip.

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Alright! I think I’ve already covered the whats, hows and where for a newbie trip to Batulao.

See you at the peak!

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*Note: For my friends who will hike with me this upcoming May 23rd. Please click here for our checklist and projected itinerary —> Bembunny-Batulao-Preps-Checklist (Final and Updated)

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Come with me into the wild,

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Bembunny <3

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More info from the pro

http://www.pinoymountaineer.com/2007/08/mt-batulao-811.html

Batulao weather

http://www.mountain-forecast.com/peaks/Mount-Batulao/forecasts/0

Bunny Beeps: 5 Types of Activities That I Can’t Wait To Do With My Future LoverBunny

Howdy! :)

I know that whether in a relationship or single and dating, each of us probably has a set of activities that we want to do with our current or future romantic partners.

And, I’m no different.

I want activities that would help me bond more deeply – emotionally, mentally, physically, etc. – with my future partner.

So, as my good deed for the day, I will share with you some of those activities that I want to try out with a partner. I hope I will be able to encourage you to try them out, too.

I want to call my future romantic partner, Bem’s sexy LoverBunny. <3

Well, yeah, I might not know yet who LoverBunny is but I am sure he will be equally excited to try out these activities with me.

Honestly, I have more than 20 types of activities that I want to do with a future romantic partner, but at the moment I will focus on just 5 because, well, 20 is…  overwhelming. Haha.

Alright! Let’s get it on!

1. Activities that could test our physical limits

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Learning more about our capabilities together would be one of the most satisfying things that I can imagine in a relationship – plus I know I can get an honest and loving feedback about my performance afterwards, so that’s like a buy one take one bonus right there. Kewlness!

Here are some activities that I want to try:

  • Parkour — If I will be a ninja, I’d rather be a part of a tag team – that means having someone who will always have my back with me: my best partner-crime. — Click here for Ninja Academy’s website
  • Karting — Improving my driving skills is of utmost importance to me and my travel plans, and achieving that while having fun with a sexy loved one is like a dream come true. Sweet! — Click here for Kart City Tarlac’s website

2. Charitable activities

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I know it does not seem like it, but I am committed to volunteering and lending my help to different charitable causes. And I am ecstatic to change the world with my future LoverBunny, one step at a time.

3. Booty shaking activities

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Dancing with a partner requires you to pace yourself to match your partner’s pace and vice versa. With that in mind, I believe it’s an excellent activity for me and my future partner to get a feel of each other on a whole new level. Add some sultry music, sensual tension, hot weather – and voila! Passion overload.

  • Tango — “No mistakes in the tango, darling, not like life. It’s simple. That’s what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, get all tangled up, just tango on.” – Al Pacino. Check out this clip of the Tango from the movie The Scent of a Woman.
  • Lyrical Dance — Have you ever seen Ed Sheeran’s video for his hit “Thinking Out Loud”? No? If not check it out here: Thinking Out Loud YouTube video. Yep. I want to do that. Yep yep yep.

4. Cool exploratory activities

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Like I said earlier, learning together with a loved one is a very satisfying thing for me – and how else can I learn more about myself, my future partner and the Earth but by exploration!

  • Exploring the mountains — highly elevated areas offer a different perspective than just being on our usual flat lands – and a different perspective always gives an opportunity to learn more. The Philippines has numerous mountains that me and my future LoverBunny can explore.
  • Exploring under the sea — being at the sea is very relaxing for me and despite my lack of swimming skills, I am still looking forward to learning how to scuba dive. I do hope my future LoverBunny is adept in swimming. Whew! I might need a lifeguard. Haha. By the way, I’ve tried snorkeling, and it was awesome and addictive!
  • Just traveling — satisfying my curiosity about different cultures, people and landscapes is also one of the things that I have in mind that I cannot wait to do with an equally curious partner.

5. Activities that would help us stay fit and flaunt it

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Exercising together means releasing adrenaline, endorphins, and all other good, sexy, happy hormones – TOGETHER! Yep. I can never stress and reiterate togetherness here, but, yes. That is goooooooood.

Being fit, means being healthy, and being healthy means being able to do all the things that I have enumerated earlier – therefore, it is very, VERY important! Aaaand of course, I will flaunt how rocking my man looks. It will not only show how much effort he puts into his health, but also… how much support I give to him and his health.

If you’ve noticed the photo above, they are cycling wearing their summer outfit. Yep. I’d like to do that – and not only during summer. Hahaha.

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So there! I hope that I was able to help you think of activities you can try with your current or future romantic partner.

I really enjoyed brainstorming and photoshopping today. See you around!

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Nope, I am not a Photoshop pro,

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Bembunny <3

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Bunny Beeps: 5 Songs for the 5 Stages of Grief

Hey, there. :)

I know we’ve all experienced loss at one point of our lives – a romantic relationship that got messed up, a loved one that succumbed to a disease, a friendship gone for good, or even a pet crushed by a raging drunk driver on the road.

Yep. We’ve all had our hearts broken, and we’ve all had to go through the process of loss and grief.

Now, I am here not to push you to fast track your way through the process of moving on. I will not tell you that you have to quickly get up and get back on your feet because life is passing you by.

Nope.

Like all kinds of emotions, quoting John Green:

…it demands to be felt.

And feeling things is like a battle within. As with how all glorious battles and wars – the best way to go is to never go alone.

So today, let me be your side kick, wing girl, guardian angel, best bitch, homie, vice president, sous chef… uhhh.. yeah you get the point.

Hold my hand, and I will be with you as you go through this process of letting yourself free from the pain of loss, and I promise that I will not let you go. (I never break promises – okay, maybe I did, but not as serious as this anyway)

So, let’s go through this one step at a time – not with words, but with MUSIC.

I’ve gathered up songs that I think somehow encapsulates the feeling of each stage of grief. Though I am well aware that they might fall short at times, I believe they will still help you unravel and express those twisted thoughts and emotions.

Let’s hit *play. Let go, let feel and well, let scream – if you must.

1. Denial

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Missing You – John Waite

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2. Anger

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Fuck it – Eamon

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3. Bargaining

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What About Love? – Lemar

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4. Depression

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Brick – Ben Folds Five

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5. Acceptance

Be Mine – Robyn

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Bonus songs for the romantics:

–  Regretting a Breakup

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Keep Yourself Warm – Frightened Rabbit

I was gonna marry you – Tristan Prettyman

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Aaaaand of course, this will not be my post if it will not have an optimistic ending. <3

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+ Getting Back Together With Your True Love

I Won’t Give Up – Jason Mraz

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+ Finding New Love

Blank Space – Taylor Swift

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Finally! Whether it’s getting back to the arms of your true love or finding a new one to run into…

+ Love Again! <3

Truly, Madly, Deeply – Savage Garden

Whew!

You see, I will not only go through grieving with you but I will make sure that I am there until the tides have turned to show you the calm and beautiful ocean of  new beginnings.

Feel free to press *replay.

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Just your regular relationship vigilante,

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Bembunny <3

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Bunny Beeps: 10 Signs He Doesn’t Want You (Romantically)

Well, ladies.

I know we’ve all been through one of the most confusing states that we could ever be in our lifetime one way or another.

And that is deciphering whether a man is romantically into us or not.

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It’s probably one of the most worry-inducing yet wildly interesting (curious me, sorry) part of being a woman, whether in a relationship, or single and dating.

So, to help ease all our minds and encourage peace within, let me list down things that we should take in consideration when we are at our wit’s end during this tumultuous (WTF, dictionary!) and restless times.

1. He’s not around you

This is the biggest – and probably most noticeable. If a man likes you, he will find a way to get close to you, physically.

Once he decides he likes you, there will be a need for him to be in your environment thus propelling him to even go out of his way sometimes just to be “around” you.

Pay close attention!

If a man is not asking you out on a real date, (when in a relationship) disappears for days or weeks and acts like it’s not a big deal – then do both yourself a favor and strut your sexy butt away.

2. He talks to you about being interested in other girls comfortably.

Woman. If that man not only talks about other girls to you – but talks about wanting them on a more physical level, even wanting to date them – that’s a VERY clear sign he’s not seeing you as a romantic pursuit.

For the love of me, walk-stride-hop-run-gallop away.

3. He has no interest in talking to you.

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This is a very direct action – or in this case, lack of action – that would tell you he’s just not interested.

BUT do not immediately assume his disinterest based on his inability to reply to your text messages within X number of minutes.

Texting habits are a little tricky to decode when it comes to men.

So, just go with the general rule – If the person has enough time to talk to you and NEVER ACTS ON IT, then that’s a clear sign he’s not interested.

I remember I once told a girlfriend that if he has time to do leisurely things (i.e., cleaning the booger up his nose, etc.) then he should still be very able to text you. Remember, a simple text can take up as little as less than a minute of his time.

Take that information in and let it reverberate. Ba-da-boom, ba-da-boom.

4. His body language/general behavior.

I think humans are built with the ability to decode non-verbal messages through body language. Some people are better at it, but all of us have been equipped with this skill.

So I know that it will be very obvious when someone is not focused on you – avoiding eye contact, positioning his body away from you, not engaging in the conversation so that means no smiling and no nodding to show interest.

I remember a TED talk that I’ve watched about body language and business. And do you know what they said? – that the most powerful CEOs in the world  are also the most adept in reading non-verbal language. Yep.

So think like a boss. Observe non-verbal cues and act appropriately.

5. He’s always busy. He always disappears.

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A man will make the time for a woman he’s interested in. Period.

If you are in a relationship and he takes vacations from the relationship with no warning it means he isn’t worried about losing you, and this is never a good sign.

If a man knows for certain that you’ll always be there waiting in the wings, no matter how badly he behaves, he won’t respect you and he definitely won’t want to commit to you.

His disappearing acts serve more as a way to let you know this relationship isn’t serious and he is still free to do what he wants. It’s his way of letting you know that you aren’t a deciding factor in where he goes and what he does.

And that, for me, spells… R-U-N.

Yep. I will run, bunny, run – away from that man.

6. He constantly flakes on you.

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When a man says he’d do one thing for you and does not follow through, sets up date at the last minute, keeps on rescheduling dates, and CONSTANTLY stands you up during dates (i.e. does not show up) – he doesn’t want you.

To be fair – If a guy did miss out on a date once, or even twice (due to valid reasons) – he will go out of his way to make it up to you. Tested and proven.

7. There’s no difference between how he talks to you vs. other friends. Casual tone of voice.

This is something that I am personally keen about.

If a man talks to me like how he talks to his buddies, I make it a point to put him in his proper place – my highly guarded “friendzone” universe and I make sure he never gets out. Haha.

Anyhoo, when a man is interested in you, it will show. However subtle – the way a man acts, therefore the way he speaks – with and around the woman he wants will have a noticeable difference.

As a basic dating rule, always be observant of how he interacts with people in general.

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…To be continued…

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Not-a-dating-coach-just-a-concerned-citizen,

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Bembunny :)

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Bunny Beeps: 15 Romantic One-Liners That I Love

Hey, hey, hey! <3

I fell in looooooooove!

Yep… with my new jam:

“Love Me Like You Do” by Ellie Goulding

I  have been playing this song over and over for the past 3 days and it seems like I will not be quitting anytime soon.

The song hints on vulnerability and surrender – and I f****** love it.

So much so that it has inspired me to gather up my favorite romantic one-liner quotes.

Feel free to spit out these lovely words to your romantic partner anytime.

I, myself, want to share these with my future partner as they somehow echo the words from the inner corners of my own heart.

I suggest you click play on the audio clip above, turn up the volume and feel these words with me.

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And to end, a bonus – my favorite part from my new jam’s own lyrics.

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Ahhh… It feels sooo good. You can never go wrong with lovely music paired with equally lovely words.

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Ravish me with your words. Seduce me,

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Bembunny <3

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Sing with me

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/elliegoulding/lovemelikeyoudo.html

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Bunny Reblogs: Save Boracay’s last remaining Wildlife, Forest and Puka Shell Beach

The original post can be seen here: HERE

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Help us protect the last remaining pristine beach, forest and wildlife in Boracay, as its now again threatened to disappear.

By signing this petition, we hope that the local and national government will realize they can not take away all our wildlife on this island for profit. Make our voices heard and make an impact on the environment of Boracay Island. If you don’t speak up, the last forest will disappear!

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Property owners and developers are again pushing to revoke the forest classification of this land and make it into commercial land for development. In protecting this forest and declaring it a WILD LIFE SANCTUARY, we make sure our islands ecosystem, Puka shell beach and its forest above will survive for future generations and tourists to explore and enjoy . Here are the main reasons why you should sign this petition now:

  •  Puka Shell Beach, north of Boracay – a stunningly beautiful beach surrounded by green hills consisting of pristine tropical beach forest which is home to a wide range of wildlife, such as turtles, lizards, monkeys and birds among them are also found tropical fruit bats.
  • Because of the Bats the forest hill above Puka Shell Beach is the key forest, the mother host for the eco-system of Boracay Island and all Northwest Panay Peninsula. The bats fly from Boracay to north west Panay to feed and distributes seeds all over Boracay and Panay while feeding. The trees on land are a big factor in a healthy coral reef and beach life as well. Lack of vegetation on land reflects in unhealthy life below the sea. We can already see the results of this on big parts of the island.
  • This is the last forest in this small tropical island, and the key to a healthy eco-system. The bats living in the forest are world wide endangered, and their survival is based on this forest. Tropical fruit bats distribute seeds from trees on a wide range of land and stand for 90% of reforestation of cleared land. Boracay’s green hills are the product of that. Boracay’s water source actually comes from the forest in the mainland that these bats also reforest.
  • The fruit bats have declined by 15000 in 1986 to 2238 bats in April 8, 2014 (last official registerd bat count). We can not lose more!

Make a difference, sign our petition online and spread the news to the world! The more signatures, more voices, the better! Save the forest of Yapak, Puka Shell Beach and the worldwide endangered species, the golden crowned Flying Fox.

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Please, please help me save my love, Puka beach. Click on the link below and let’s make a difference together.

CLICK TO SIGN YOUR PETITION HERE

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The voice of the sea speaks to the soul,

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Bembunny <3

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For more info about this matter

https://www.facebook.com/SaveBoracaysLastremainingWildlifeBeachandForest

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